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Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management

An angry grandson, who is very vexed with his schoolmate approaches his grandfather and expresses himself.

The grandfather replies, I too have felt great hatred for those who have hurt me. They have not shown any remorse and that has added to my hatred. Hate is counter productive as it wears you down and doesn’t affect the enemy at all. It is like consuming a poison and wishing your enemy death.
 
The grandfather goes on to that there are two wolves inside each one of us. One is a calm and good wolf who lives in harmony. This wolf is not easily provoked and will fight only when necessary. The other is an angry wolf who is always seething with anger. The smallest thing upsets the angry wolf and he gets into a fit of rage. Both of these wolves reside in me and it is very hard for me to control them.

 The boy asks his grandparent, Which one wins?
 The grandfather calmly replies, The one I Feed.

Anger is a human emotion  and it is not a bad thing. It is how we direct our anger that makes all the difference.

It is up to us to feed our anger or to redirect it in a healthy manner. The choice is ours and how we exercise it makes a lot of difference.

Playing the blame game.

It is very easy to blame others and feed our anger. It is very easy to say it is someone’s fault and they need to pay for their mistakes. Playing the blame game takes up too much of our energy and leaves us feeling exhausted.

Playing the enflame game.

Once anger builds up inside of us, it is totally our choice to either suppress the anger or enflame it. Enflaming it is very easy and we become a victim of our habits.

Blaming others and building up anger is the easy thing to do. It is however counterproductive. It is a vicious circle and once we are on the path of blaming and adding to our inner anger, it is very difficult to break free.

How to feed healthy feelings
Playing  the diffuse game.

Whenever we do get angry, we should pause and think how strongly we feel about our emotions and whether it is worth getting angry about. At this stage we should attempt to pacify ourselves and suppress this emotion. We should channelize our anger and use it for constructive purposes. Of course it is easier said than done and takes a lot of practice. But that is no excuse for attempting to do so.

Anger is a wasteful emotion and saps us of our energy. All said and done, it can be useful at times. However we should strive not to become angry, too often and at the slightest pretext.